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The Real F Word

Everyone loves a good swear word. the F word I refer to in the title is
Feminism. how could it possibly be a swear word? Some people find it offensive, and believe it or not some of the people are women. So if I offend you, good at least you’re paying attention. I regard myself a feminist. I know if I go marching in the streets alone screaming for equal rights I’m going straight to a mental hospital. There’s already a rumour going round that I have a few screws loose wont help my case. I see myself more as a realistic feminist. Here is what I think that means:


A realistic feminist embraces her true self: A year ago I decided to stop relaxing my hair. It’s a journey I took because I believe it is a true representation of who I am and what I represent. I have a wonderful support system. A group of fabulous, beautiful women. Zedian Naturals is a private Facebook group I joined through my friend and fellow blogger Mwiza 🙂 I don’t post regularly but read all post(yep all of them) I’m pretty sure without all the advice and comments from these women I would have gone back to that “creamy crack” they gave me a new-found confidence to literally take over the world and have pride in each and every kinky strand of hair on my head…I love you all.

Its my nappy anniversary  today and i will rock my red(ginger) afro puff tonight !

A realistic feminist realizes that they are still women in this world who are still oppressed: I may have more freedom and rights than most women. I’m grateful for my the opportunities I’ve had in my life. I never look down on anybody just because their circumstances differ from mine.how many of us will be thinking about hard-working women who aren’t in formal employment?  Respect their hustle.

A realistic feminist recognises that her intelligence and talent will be questioned. It happens all the time, just this week I was asked if there was a man that helps me with the HTML on my blog. It was so far-fetched for this person to think that I do  it on my own. We’ve all been there, a woman who gets a job/promotion because she is most qualified, but is often accused of sleeping her way to the top. 

A realistic feminist is a feminist throughout the year. International Women’s day is a public holiday here in Zambia. Most women who are in formal employment will be marching in gorgeous outfits representing their companies and or organisations. We think women’s day is just about cervical and breast cancer screening( which should also be done throughout the year) We are more than that, but often prefer to keep quiet until the next year when allowances and chitenges age being given out.

A realistic feminist does not take the blame for a few bad apples. Forgive the fruit reference. Human beings are complex beings. I’m sick and tired for ALL women taking the blame for one or two people’s behaviour. Men don’t like to be stereotyped, why should it be acceptable to me? If a woman commits murder, all women are murders. If she has an extramarital affair, we’re all cheaters.

 A realistic feminist knows when she’s made her point. Happy Women’s day

4 thoughts on “The Real F Word”

  1. being a female engineer i totally relate with most of what you are saying. am not much of a writer but i love how you express yourself in a literary but relatable sense at the same time. <3

  2. Awesome happy nappyversary babe 🙂 love how u really gtn into blogging u actually re-inspiring me to pick up my keyboard and type away. Another good one

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