5 ways Ladies Can forget about Having Seconds

Get your mind out of the gutter this is a dating post.Yes people a dating post. Roll your eyes all you want. I went ahead and asked some of my Zambian male friends what really ticks them off on a 1st date. What would make them not ask you out on a 2nd date. I’m not here to judge the men’s intentions when they ask you out, only they know that. Most guys don’t talk about their feelings and will probably act like perfect gentlemen and not say a word about your behavior. I however, have no issues calling you out on your bullshit.
So I’ve summarized  the 5 most common things they all cannot stand.

1. Talking on the phone for long periods of time. We get it, you want to use up all your Zamtel free minutes before they expire, but it’s not a free pass to behave like you’ve just discovered the telephone. Alexander graham bell invented it in 1876; it’s not going anywhere anytime soon. He’s trying to get to know you. This is not the time to test  how long your battery lasts during a call! Be polite switch it off or put it on silent.

2. Constantly IM chatting or updating social media. This is not the time to upload instagram pictures of your fancy dinner or cocktails. Focus. I love my phone as much as the next person but really, you would be the 1st one to complain if your date did the same thing. Save instagram for when you’re out with your friends.

3. Totally ignoring him to talk to the friend you just bumped into. Updating your girlfriend on your latest catch can wait you could call her later and tell her everything that happened, seeing as you have all those free minutes. Dont even think about asking her to join you.
4. Ordering food off the menu that you’ve never eaten and failing to eat it. In Zambian culture food fights and generally wasting food in any way is no-no. Trying to look like you are “cultured” when you aren’t definitely isn’t a good look. It makes you look over eager to impress. Quit lying to yourself.

5. Bringing your girlfriend(s) along on the date.Yes she’s your girl, you want value her opinion and want to know what she thinks of the new guy. Bringing her along like she’s your conjoined twin and holding hands with her all throughout your date. I can guess what you’re probably thinking stranger danger. It’s a well-known fact that women make the best stalkers.Use that social media you love so much and check him out. If he isn’t on social media you could check his employment records, medical records, pension contributions, anything really; hypothetically speaking of course 😉 use your friends in high and low places.

As funny as listening to some of these stories was, I can’t help but feel ashamed at the lack of manners some women displayed. I understand that we probably get advice from each other. You keep listening to bad advice, you’ll end up with no seconds.

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22 Responses

  1. m says:

    If ever men needed a way to screen for potential harlots,simply get a note pad and jot down steps 1 to 5 above,if she manages to score two,then flee or use protection,your choice.

  2. m says:

    It reads “post comment” how hard to get can that be?okay let me draw a picture.

  3. chazi says:

    My my…. This is enlightenin… I cnt wait 4 the 1 on boys!!

  4. Leng says:

    number five am very guilty of…..lol

  5. katota Mbaya says:

    I just read your article. I’m a man and have had a few if not all those mishaps on dates with females. I kinda just let them do what they want during a date,I mean,am just glad she/they showed up to spend time with me. Those imperfections they come with are what makes for a perfect date. Nothing rehearsed,it’s just her being and doing her. Have a great day.

  6. milo says:

    pretty accurate.i must say am guilty of some of those when i was bored senseless by my date..bite me!

    • chansa says:

      I’ve already received requests from women, to do a post on why they do these things, boredom is one of them. I would love to hear other reasons from you.

  7. Ali Kaona says:

    fortunately for me number 5 worked to my advantage,she brought a friend along and i ended up liking the friend more…hehehe. sounds funy bt the friend liked me too,and the rest as they say…..

  8. Vee says:

    That hits the nail on the head. i think your next article should be on women fighting to pay for the bill for once,lol

  9. miss v says:


  10. Nasson Sonix says:

    Very true staff, I know places where this is common, and I ve tagged them no go areas…lol its a major turn of if a gal exhibits at leasr two of the said points, well put.

  11. Muzo says:

    Good tips, need those rite now

  12. james says:

    good tips but is it true?????????????

  13. Talking about Crowd-dating. Next time keep a brother on speed dial just in case you encounter groupies. Lol.

  14. Shetoh ExBoyfriend Sichinga says:

    Those points are true.
    But there are several true life happening from today’s era that are not listed apo.

    I will highlight one. Speaking highly about any other while on that date… whether he is a male bestfriend, a favorite nephew, an uncle or even speaking ill about your ex… just the slight mention of any other guy might just hinder the 2nd date for me. These can be mentioned on the second date at least. Not on day one.

  15. ThatDarkNigga says:


  16. tendai says:

    lol classic,hence y u dont take a zambian on a date,just take her clubin or binge drinkin,they would probly prefer that

  17. K-PLUS says:

    If more women could read this, we just might get to the bottom of the “BATTLE OF THE SEXES”. I’m looking forward to an article that will talk about how (some) women shouldn’t entirely depend on men for their happiness. Especially financial happiness.

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