A dreamer’s list


After much deliberation and consultation I’ve come up with my unrealistic list of requirements a man should posses before even considering a relationship with me. I’m almost 27 and I’ve been dating most of my adult life. I’m bored, I’m tired, I’m old and I’m fussy so here’s my not so short list in no particular order. I must say not all of them are an absolute requirement  but a girl can dream

1. Normal: I can actually hear my psychologist friend saying there’s no such thing as normal,I know this but the wackos I meet are far from the average human being.

2.Must live on their own. I don’t care if it’s in a mansion or a guest wing with a view that overlooks the landlord’s bigger house.

3.Not depend on me financially. I work hard to get the nice things I own. If I want another child I wouldn’t adopt an adult. I have no problems spending money on him but he should meet me half way.

4. Respect my values and beliefs. I’m a Christian, feminist, liberal, capitalist. Nothing much to say here, good luck to him.

5. Not dependant on me for his self-esteem. I get that people are generally insecure, but to get even a conversation with me I don’t want to hear negativity  about yourself. this also applies to men looking for a trophy instead of something genuine

6. Should have own interests. It’s nice to have things in common, have something you enjoy doing other than hanging out with me.

7. Should not be a mama’s boy. I get it, you love your mother, but an unhealthy relationship with her is a no-no.

8. Should not expect to be my best friend. I already have one. You can try, but I already have one and I’m not replacing best friend anytime soon.

9. Should understand that my child comes first, always. this is non negotiable. Accept it

10. Should be behave like a man. This is just annoying, you should follow me, call me, flatter me, not the other way round.

11. Not be easily influenced by his friends. Don’t follow the crowd just because everyone is doing it, be your own man.

12. Accept the way I look. Regardless of what colour I decide to dye my hair, what weave I have in my head, he’ll just have to live with that.

13. Should be single. One would think that would be obvious but not to all.

14. Should be drama free. Common courtesy should be extended especially that I have no drama myself. None of your exes should call or stalk me.

15. Stimulate my 5 senses. yep! See… Hear… Touch… Smell… Taste.

 16. Text me at least every other day. with the advancements in technology there is no excuse for not texting me

Everyone  is free to comment with their own requirements. i would love to know yours

*I know you thought this post was about you, and you, and you;  sorry, it was about me.




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12 Responses

  1. milo says:

    two words…my doppel ganger.

  2. milo says:


  3. ginger power!!! says:

    Ive noticed that age isnt a factor on this list, good for you. excellent post as usual, from a mature realistic lady

  4. Victoria says:

    So i’ve read it, its nothing short of the truth………you have brought out what many ladies and women out thur cannot express all in the name of love………..an exceptional reading

  5. cutie pie says:

    she went there! all men should read this. i hate when they clingy and dont have own lives

  6. lolo says:

    i love it!!! its on point

  7. mwizbex says:

    Atleast own one suit…

    Must not speak the famous “exsay” yobally language

    Must know his alcohol drinking limits

    Must not thinking coming home at 6am frm a night out every wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday ,is cool

    Yeah thats wat i wud add lol

  8. ceci says:

    Shud b doing somethng constructive be it. Business or formal work not. John solye buwali!!

  9. Mizz O O says:

    I could not have put it any better….not so much 8 but thats my kind of man…love the addition by Mwizbex “yo bally” lingual NO NO and alcohol limits…I hate it when they get to the slur point….puts me off

  10. Joan Kats says:

    Mine is simple. Should be FAITHFUL. You’d think that would be obvious but apparently it’s not!

  11. I really like your blog. I relate to a lot. Please spread your works to others. They need this

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