“I’m sorry, I have a Boyfriend.”
I’m not gloating, I don’t do that. As a woman I cannot count how many times I’ve used this line to avoid being propositioned online or face to face . A lot of the times I’ve said this its been a complete lie (boo-hoo,sue me) Experience has taught me that telling the truth gets me accused of leading someone on or worse “offending” with the following responses:
“I like being single”
“You’re not my type”
“I think you’d fail any IQ test. Intelligence is a big deal to me “
“You can’t honestly expect me to take you seriously when you wear a Du-rag, it’s 2014”
But you know what does work?
“I have a boyfriend” As much as it pains me to say this, a man would rather respect another man than respect my decision to say no.
I know what you’re thinking, I shouldn’t have to lie, I think the lie is justifiable. Turning down a man has now become the difference between life and death , a man named Elliot Rodgers killed six people, and then himself. Why? The women he had killed went to his university and had previously turned him down , they couldn’t see how “good” he was, with his BMW and $300 Emporio Amarni sunglasses, so he killed them.At 22 he died a virgin.
This freaked me out in ways you couldn’t possibly comprehend, I’ve turned down my fair share of egotistic losers. But I feel the boyfriend excuse works as an excuse and to deter cat-callers in some instances.
For those that don’t know what cat calling is , it’s when a woman is wolf whistled or shouted at with so-called compliments by a man, usually in public. it is also known as street harassment.
I define cat-calling as an irritating thing immature, misogynistic male Homo sapiens do to get a female attention, usually in a group of fellow immature males.
from my research cat calling may happen in many languages but at the end of the day, no matter which part of the world you come from, women still get verbally harassed for no reason at all. The following are cat calling scenarios for my slower readers that may still have no idea what I’m talking about.
All scenarios involve a group of men and one woman.
CAT-CALLER: wolf whistles then shouts at female ” HI HOW ARE YOU?”
FEMALE: “fine” walks past.
CAT-CALLER: shouts again“YOU KNOW YOU’RE PRETTY RIGHT?”
FEMALE: walks away quickly
CAT-CALLER: still shouting “YOU’RE NOT THAT PRETTY! WHO WANTS YOU ANYWAY?”
Cat-caller and friends all snigger and laugh
CAT-CALLER:wolf whistles then shouts at female HI
FEMALE: doesn’t respond, continues to walk away
CAT-CALLER: YOU HAVE NO RESPECT, YOU SHOULD LEARN TO RESPOND WHEN A MAN IS TALKING TO YOU!
Cat-callers friends all snigger and jeer at the female
FEMALE: still walking away
CAT-CALLER: YOU’RE JUST A ________ [insert sexist and/or derogative term here]
CAT-CALLER: wolf whistles then shouts at red-head HI SISTER!
AFRO GINGER: I’m not your sister.
CAT-CALLER: I’M ATTRACTED TO YOU, JUST APPRECIATING YOUR BEAUTY SISTER
AFRO GINGER: So you would be attracted to your own sister? Just because there’s some incest in Game of Thrones doesn’t mean its okay in real life. That’s disgusting!
CAT-CALLER: confused. regrets ever talking to crazy red-head, walks away
CAT-CALLER: wolf whistles then shouts at red-head “WHY ARE YOU IN SUCH A HURRY ?”
AFRO GINGER: ” Would love to stop and chat, but I’m going to meet my boyfriend. He’s a Pro wrestler”
CAT-CALLER: My bad, you better hurry, wouldn’t want to keep him waiting ma’am
AFRO GINGER: smiles and walks away. knowing full well she’d never date a pro wrestler!
I know not all men are like that, well at least the ones I know. I would love to hear from any female who has actually found catcalling attractive or flattering . What bothers me the most is that they have been a lot of witnesses to this abuse, standing there and watching it happen doesn’t stop these things from happening, neither does using hash tags #YesAllWomen, #NotAllMen. Shock us all and tell the cat-callers to leave us alone.