Stuck in the Middle
Stuck in the middle (ginger thoughts)
Ever been on long distance public transportation and wondered if the people you’re stuck with for hours get paid to get on your last nerve?
If you answered yes to this question, I’ll share with you situations that have happened to me, none of this is fiction, and these are thoughts that have actually crossed my mind more than once.
However, if you answered no to this question, chances are high that you are one of the following types of people:
For my slower readers, please note that a lot of what I will describe is done so in a sarcastic manner. it should not be mistaken for pleasure or joy
1 THE ONE WHO’S MOTHER DIDN’T HUG THEM ENOUGH.
The bus is half empty (half full for my optimists) don’t sit next to me; don’t sit next to me, PLEASE DON’T SIT NEXT TO ME. Why are you looking at my seat? Why are you smiling? You see me signaling to the seat behind me, Great, now you’re sitting next to me, I really hope you don’t expect me to make small talk.
2 THE ONE WHO THINKS I’M THEIR PILLOW
Yes it’s okay for you to rest your very heavy head on my shoulder. You clearly know nothing about personal space and that’s not your fault. Please feel free to drool on me.
3 THE END OF THE WORLD EATER
You’ve been eating a six course meal since the beginning of this journey in less than sanitary conditions. So no, none of the other passengers get surprised that you’re forcing the driver to stop in the middle of nowhere to do a number 3 (which is a number 1 + a number 2 =number 3 i.e. both at the same time at ) good luck wiping that!
4 THE GAS PRODUCER
Quit looking around with your accusing eyes, we all know you’re the one that farted. How you ask? Well those boiled eggs you keep eating are a dead give-away.
5. THE YAP- YAPPER
You insist on talking to me. I don’t care where you’re going , who you are and what you’re going to do, please leave me alone, I’m trying really hard to pretend I’m sleeping .
6. PRINCESS BEAUTY
Retouching your make-up every 10 minutes and polluting the air with your cheap perfume won’t make you more attractive. Between you and the eggy gas producer the smell can only be compared to the 10th level of hell
7 THE ZAMTEL-ER AND OR MTN-ER
Yes, I went there, you’ve been talking nonstop on the phone it’s a wonder how your phone battery has lasted this long. Your conversation is none of our business. I’ve turned up the volume in my headsets and I can still hear you. I’m so close to grabbing that phone out of your hand and throwing it out of the window.
End of rant, I would have written about my reactions to these situations, but I think laws in many countries would frown upon that .